Posts Tagged ‘Oddities’

There has been a lot of odd shit going in around these parts, and I would totally love to write about it, but none of it really is my odd shit and so I can’t.

And now you know how I feel. Suck, isn’t it?

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So I got a thing in the mail from my cable company, that my promotional deal was coming to an end, so I called them up and was all Hey, how much are you going to screw me out of? and they were all $30 more dollars a month, and I said, Yeah, no, that’s not gonna work for me, and then they gave me the promotional price again.

That was pretty good.

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So I’ve started a new hair regimen, and YES, it IS one of my end-of-the-month ideas, but it seems to be going ok, and my hair has not A) fallen out or B) started looking gunked up, and so I shall continue and hope for the best.

Shut up.

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Why the fuck would anyone want to watch a movie on their phone? I DON’T GET IT.

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OK, I’m done now. You may continue with, well, I don’t know, whatever you guys do when I’m not here. Whatever.

Now, if you are from New England, you can probably translate this post title into “I carried that extremely heavy thing for a very long time.”

If you are from Away (anywhere that is NOT New England) you now have some very strange ideas about what I do for fun in my spare time.

Perverts.

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I keep seeing a bug in my apartment. I have checked my supply of anti psychotics, and I appear to have skipped no doses, so I am hereby making the assumption that the bug is real.

It flies around, and then disappears, I have no idea where. And the cats don’t pay it any attention whatsoever, the lazy bastards.

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Also, crosswalks are for suckers. That’s right, I said it, I’m a jaywalker. Nobody cared when I lived in Maine, but now total strangers seem to feel the need to comment on my scofflaw ways.

This does not, strangely, make me more inclined to use the crosswalks.

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Now me and my contrary ass are going to dialyze. Yeah, it’s high times in the whorehouse today. Oh, and I killed that bug so I’m pretty sure that it was real, on account of the carcass. So there’s that.

I had burritos for breakfast. Not breakfast burritos, just burritos.

I am not locked in to your bourgeoisie ideas of appropriate meals, dude.

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Yesterday, the Unbearable Hotness of Robert said on the Twitter that I have all the programming savvy of a Luddite. I was going to be offended, but then I realized that he was absolutely correct. I can’t even do my WordPress updates without breaking my blog.

Very lowering, but totally correct, I’m afraid. And why I’m not allowed to do anything to the blog except post to it.

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Not sure what los Gatos would do if I died. Well, first of all they would have to find somewhere else to sit.

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I’ve been watching that new show Haven on the SciFy channel. It’s quite good. Also Rizzoli and Isles on TNT and Leverage. See, I DO watch more than cartoons. I also watch shows about murder.

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I’m not sure I like your tone.

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And now I’m gonna go live my life. And by that, I mean watch some TV.

It’s cold and rainy in Seattle, and pretty much everyone who lives here is pissed. Because this weather is typical here. In NOVEMBER. Not June.

It’s making everyone grumpy. Except me, because grumpy is pretty much my baseline, and I like this kind of weather. It’s why I moved here in the first place.

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Montel Williams pisses me off. I mean, people look up to him, and there he is on the TV telling people to get payday loans. That shit just ain’t right. Payday loans are like a pox on the poor.

I would like to punch him in the throat.

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So I was watching this show, Cupcake Wars, and one of the competitors looked just like Barbie, and she immediately made me angry, and so I was rooting against her, and of course she won.

I hate that.

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Ok, I am so done. Time for World Cup. And chips. SHUT UP.

Sizzle: i’m trying to write this invite for our mini-golf happy hour kick off and i have writers block