Posts Tagged ‘Deliciousness’

Dorian Gray was back in town, and I have made it my mission to show him one of my favorite restaurants each time he visits.It’s awesome that he is totally on board with Project Restaurant.

Last night we hit my fave Indian joint, and had a lovely dinner, then went for coffee at one of the fifty million places to have coffee in Seattle, although neither of us had actual coffee.

Apparently, the secret to DG’s youthful look is not bathing in virgin blood, as I have previously surmised, but hot green tea.

I had black tea, because any other kind of tea tastes like, I don’t know, plants and shit. SHUT UP, I know tea is a plant, I just don’t want the planty taste IN MY MOUTH.

Plus I am well known for my dislike of hot beverages, so my tea was iced.

It was, as always, awesome.

So, things that are awesome:

Big Time Rush. I LOVE THESE GUYS. No, really, I watch every episode and have downloaded and PAID FOR their songs. LOVE THEM.

Flashpoint, Haven and Warehouse 13: If you aren’t watching these shows, then I have no idea what you are doing with your free time. Seriously.

Cupcakes. Like very small versions of awesome. You know, foreigners sometimes call them fairy cakes. Silly foreigners.

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In other news, I had to defer my annual boob squishing in order to have my tri monthly migraine.

I feel better now.

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Hex Bug Nano. My worst nightmare, turned into a child’s toy.

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OK, I’m gonna go stare at the oven, in the hopes of a baked goods miracle.

Things that will immediately make it clear to me that your comment is spam:

Telling me that this was a useful read. I know full well that there is very little of use to anyone on this blog, unless you want a primer on how to use the word “cunt” in casual conversation, and so starting out thanking me for information will instantly red flag you.

Using this blog to ‘practice your English’. Again, if this is the blog you have chosen to practice the English language, you are in more trouble than I can possibly help you with. SPAM.

Telling me that you tried to put me in your reader but something went wrong. The Unbearable Hotness Of Robert is on this blog like white on rice, and so everything pretty much works all the time. That is the beauty of Robert.SPAMZINI.

Putting a link in your comment. This won’t automatically get you canned, but more likely than not. My friends generally send me links in email, with a subject. SPAMTASM.

Your homepage is pharmtechcareers.com. Really, dude? Does this work on anyone? SPAMOSTIC.

Yeah, it’s pretty obvious I cleaned out the spam filter, isn’t it? I mean, the fuck with that? Does anyone fall for that shit? GAH.

There are some people in your life who, if you called them and told them you had a body that you needed to get rid of, would sigh and say “Where should I bring the shovel?”

My friend, Dorian Gray, is one of those people to me and to Fathead. Dorian Gray isn’t his real name, of course. He has a career and a family and stuff, none of which would benefit by being tarred with the brush of Kaply, Inc.

But I’m calling him that because, 25 years after I first met him, the bastard has NOT AGED ONE DAY. It makes me mental. I’m pretty sure there is a picture of him in some closet somewhere that is aging at an astounding pace.

So DG was coming into town and had time for breakfast, so I took him to Glo’s, which is a local joint known for  eggs benedict.

There are very few people for whom I would forsake the cozy awesomeness of my bed, and DG is among them. SO I crawled out of bed at 6AM, brushed my teeth and even took a shower.

And it was totally worth it.

One of the things I miss about Maine is having people in my life who have known me a long time. DG and I have known each other for 25 years, and there is something about that length of history that is reassuring and gratifying. We have each changed a lot in that time, and yet there we were, laughing and talking like we see each other every day.

Plus he was totally suited up, AND he bought me breakfast. You can’t beat THAT with a STICK.

Of course, now it’s like, 10 AM and I’m completely gakked out on coffee, but it was still worth it. SHUT UP.

So, I have lived in Seattle for about four years now. My family lived in the Pacific Northwest for a couple of years when I was a kid, so I had some idea of what I was getting into. And truly, I do love it here.

But like most cross country transplants, there are things I miss about living back east. Fair warning, it is all pretty much food related.

1) Bagels. You just cannot get decent bagels here. They do things like cut them in half, put cream cheese in, then wrap them in plastic wrap. Then sell them to you, BUT DO NOT TOAST THEM. SO. WRONG. And even when they don’t, these bagels have the consistency of grossness.

2) Pizza. Every time I bring this up, someone is all “But I know this GREAT PLACE!” Well, I have tried your ‘great place’ and I am here to tell you it IS NOT GREAT. It is FULL of suck and lame.

3) Hot dog rolls. I AM FUCKING SERIOUS. I want them New England style, so I can toast them. The regular kind have too much bread. DO NOT MESS WITH THE BREAD TO MEAT RATIO.

I also miss some of my family.

On the other hand, the Chinese, Japanese, and Thai food here is awesome. And of course, all my stuff is here.

So, you know. Pros and cons. WORD.