Witty. Humorous. Almost Creepy.

I Humped That Pig For A Year

Posted By Tracy on July 24th, 2010

Now, if you are from New England, you can probably translate this post title into “I carried that extremely heavy thing for a very long time.”

If you are from Away (anywhere that is NOT New England) you now have some very strange ideas about what I do for fun in my spare time.

Perverts.

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I keep seeing a bug in my apartment. I have checked my supply of anti psychotics, and I appear to have skipped no doses, so I am hereby making the assumption that the bug is real.

It flies around, and then disappears, I have no idea where. And the cats don’t pay it any attention whatsoever, the lazy bastards.

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Also, crosswalks are for suckers. That’s right, I said it, I’m a jaywalker. Nobody cared when I lived in Maine, but now total strangers seem to feel the need to comment on my scofflaw ways.

This does not, strangely, make me more inclined to use the crosswalks.

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Now me and my contrary ass are going to dialyze. Yeah, it’s high times in the whorehouse today. Oh, and I killed that bug so I’m pretty sure that it was real, on account of the carcass. So there’s that.

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5 Responses to “I Humped That Pig For A Year”

tiffNo Gravatar

what are you doing up at this hour? isn’t it still DARK where you are?

Mighty HunterNo Gravatar

Prepare for insect retaliation. Those fuckers do not play fuck-around.

sizzleNo Gravatar

At least you’re well skilled in hiding bodies (aka carcasses).

rennNo Gravatar

I love throwing out random NE phrases, then waiting for the Reaction of the Locals.

I’m particularly fond of Going Boston, or threatening to…

CherylNo Gravatar

Actually, I’ve learned not to question your post titles.