I Humped That Pig For A Year
Now, if you are from New England, you can probably translate this post title into “I carried that extremely heavy thing for a very long time.”
If you are from Away (anywhere that is NOT New England) you now have some very strange ideas about what I do for fun in my spare time.
Perverts.
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I keep seeing a bug in my apartment. I have checked my supply of anti psychotics, and I appear to have skipped no doses, so I am hereby making the assumption that the bug is real.
It flies around, and then disappears, I have no idea where. And the cats don’t pay it any attention whatsoever, the lazy bastards.
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Also, crosswalks are for suckers. That’s right, I said it, I’m a jaywalker. Nobody cared when I lived in Maine, but now total strangers seem to feel the need to comment on my scofflaw ways.
This does not, strangely, make me more inclined to use the crosswalks.
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Now me and my contrary ass are going to dialyze. Yeah, it’s high times in the whorehouse today. Oh, and I killed that bug so I’m pretty sure that it was real, on account of the carcass. So there’s that.
Tags: Banalities, Goddamned cats, Oddities, Playing Fuckaround, Psycho Is The New Black, Where I'm From

July 24th, 2010 at 5:25 am
what are you doing up at this hour? isn’t it still DARK where you are?
July 24th, 2010 at 10:42 am
Prepare for insect retaliation. Those fuckers do not play fuck-around.
July 24th, 2010 at 11:31 am
At least you’re well skilled in hiding bodies (aka carcasses).
July 24th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
I love throwing out random NE phrases, then waiting for the Reaction of the Locals.
I’m particularly fond of Going Boston, or threatening to…
July 26th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Actually, I’ve learned not to question your post titles.