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So Grant left today. He found a space in a halfway house, and I haven’t been so grateful for something in a long while. The anxiety around his impending homelessness was killing me. It seems weird that he isn’t here.

I am still freaking out about money but the rest of my impending move planning is going ok. The guy I thought I had sold two bookcases to had to bail, health problems, complicated story, so now I need to find another buyer for those.

I blew through a shitload of money today, no way to avoid it, but it certainly is not easing my anxiety at all. I hate money. I would barter all damn day if I had any skill or talent that was at all salable. Alas, no one is willing to pay me to sit around drinking beverages and being pithy.

A shame, that. What a lovely way to pay for gas.

The sinus infection is at bay, and I am sitting in the Vietnamese cafe across the street from the apartment, eating Saigon creme puffs and drinking Vietnamese coffee, which is coffee with chicory and condensed milk, a hearty fucking drink if ever there was one.
I like a culture that does not fuck around with such things.
The apartment management has decided to inspect/ treat for bugs, so now I need to figure out what to do with a cat in a box for four hours. Kato barely likes indoors, the outdoors might as well be the fucking Amazon as far as he’s concerned.
And of course, what I really want to spend time doing is piling all my remaining belongings in the center of the room and cover them with a sheet. Because it’s not like I have shit to do or anything.
Also, the idea of bugs in the apartment makes me want to scratch and frantically search the corners to make sure I don’t see any. I am not entirely rational on the subject of bugs and the prednisone does not exactly ameliorate that.
*sigh*
So today is all about packing and stacking for tomorrow, after I meet the Handsome Shawn for lunch in a bit and Grant gets up. Grants stays up later than me, and since he sleeps in the living room, I try to get out of his way in the mornings when I can.
Ahhhhhhhhhh. Vietnamese coffee, I shall miss you.

This sinus infection is kicking my ass.
It had been building in severity over te last few weeks and this week it finally hit the point where I could no longer kid myself that it was bad allergies, so I went to my ENT who looked up my nose and said Eeww, GROSS. Then gave me antibiotics.
These do not seem to be working.
It’s wicked hot today, and I hate that, so I would have stayed inside anyway, but would have been sans face and head pain, which I can’t help but think would have made the day more enjoyable.
GAH. I’m gonna make me a sandwich. Some days, that’s all you can do.

One of the multitudinous things I am worrying about, and by no means the least pressing, is what will happen to Grant when I move.
He has yet to get his SS Disability approved, despite copious work and reams of paperwork done by Grant. All the assistance programs generally require you to have at least a nominal income. And this leaves him in the awkward position of not qualifying for help because he has not been approved for help.
I had originally planned to stay here until he got approved. Approval is hard, few get it their first time through the process, and Grant is blind as a bat, so it’s just a matter of time.
But the landlord said that if I went month to month, I would pay a lot more, and I can’t afford that. I also am being priced out of Seattle altogether, and I really want to be closer to my folks.
And so I sit here, worrying about Grant, who has been a fantastic roommate. And he refused to come to California with me. *sigh*
Damn.
Also, it turns out that June is Pride Month and June 30th is Pride parade in Seattle and it is also the weekend I need to load up the truck and move and did you know that almost all my friends are gay? So yeah. There’s that.

I’m seriously behind on posting, I know, and I think it’s just that I have my hands full with the shit going on in my life, and I don’t know how to write about a lot of it without sounding whiny.
The truth is that I am freaked out most of the time. Most of my stuff is sold but not all of it has been paid for, and money is a constant worry, anyway.
Actually, worry is kind of my baseline what with the anxiety disorder and all. Even though this move is what I want, and I am happy about it, I am also so anxious that I am practically eating Ativan and Seroquel like fucking tic tacs.
That is not always helpful.
Also, I have alternately been at the mercy of my hay fever and my antihistamine for a few weeks now. Bastards.
So I will try to be better, but since I keep freaking out about the same shit over and over, it may get a little more boring than usual around here. Apologies in advance.