One of the multitudinous things I am worrying about, and by no means the least pressing, is what will happen to Grant when I move.
He has yet to get his SS Disability approved, despite copious work and reams of paperwork done by Grant. All the assistance programs generally require you to have at least a nominal income. And this leaves him in the awkward position of not qualifying for help because he has not been approved for help.
I had originally planned to stay here until he got approved. Approval is hard, few get it their first time through the process, and Grant is blind as a bat, so it’s just a matter of time.
But the landlord said that if I went month to month, I would pay a lot more, and I can’t afford that. I also am being priced out of Seattle altogether, and I really want to be closer to my folks.
And so I sit here, worrying about Grant, who has been a fantastic roommate. And he refused to come to California with me. *sigh*
Damn.
Also, it turns out that June is Pride Month and June 30th is Pride parade in Seattle and it is also the weekend I need to load up the truck and move and did you know that almost all my friends are gay? So yeah. There’s that.

I’m seriously behind on posting, I know, and I think it’s just that I have my hands full with the shit going on in my life, and I don’t know how to write about a lot of it without sounding whiny.
The truth is that I am freaked out most of the time. Most of my stuff is sold but not all of it has been paid for, and money is a constant worry, anyway.
Actually, worry is kind of my baseline what with the anxiety disorder and all. Even though this move is what I want, and I am happy about it, I am also so anxious that I am practically eating Ativan and Seroquel like fucking tic tacs.
That is not always helpful.
Also, I have alternately been at the mercy of my hay fever and my antihistamine for a few weeks now. Bastards.
So I will try to be better, but since I keep freaking out about the same shit over and over, it may get a little more boring than usual around here. Apologies in advance.

*sigh*
So two days ago, approximately a month after I gave them written notice that I would be moving out at the end of May, my landlord’s management came to me and said, hey, by the way, your lease isn’t up until the end of June. You have to stay.

And then my head exploded.

I checked with the Housing Authority. They said I had to stay.

And so I am now staying until the end of June. It doesn’t change much, it really is only a matter of time, it’s just a wee bit frustrating.

So I am watching Hellboy, because there is nothing so soothing as paranormal hi jinks and Nazi defeat.

Ok, I’ll just get it out: I am completely terrified that the end of May will arrive and I will not have enough money to rent the car and get down to Joshua Tree. There.

*sigh*

In the meantime, I am continuing to purge and pack.

I have this bubble fairy. It was a gift from my step sisters. When my stepmother, whom I was quite fond of, died, her huge collection of figurines were inherited by her three daughters. There were four of these bubble fairies, one for each season, I think. They each took one and sent one to me. It’s called Harvest, and was made in 1991. It is apparently a limited edition or some such, by Jessica De Stefano, whoever she is.
It is exceedingly ugly. But it meant a lot that they included me, so I kept it all these years. But now I am going to sell it, since I found its certificate of authenticity, which makes it a bit more valuable.

Also, we have discovered that Kato is afraid of the sound of packing tape, the weirdo.

You never know which chance meeting will be the one in which you meet your friends. I went to a blogger meet up and that’s where I met Sizzle for the first time.

Now there are very few people who are as different from me as Sizz. She is persistent and organized, a perpetual motion machine in a stylish covering, a dazzling entertainment and party organizer. She and Hotness are entirely responsible for the fact that I have a celebratory birthday supper each year.

Sizzle just overwhelms me with love and acceptance. I have spent many a Christmas Eve with her and her family, I have eaten her baked goods (not a euphemism) and have accepted the fact that I am now known far and wide as Kap as a direct result of her calling me that.

She is a woman of intelligence and style, of striving and effort. She is funny and sweet and I have always considered myself blessed that she chose to be my friend.

She is a lot like my family, the closest thing I have to a sister, and this year I got to celebrate her wedding to her own personal Mr Darcy.

So today is the birthday of this amazing woman, and I would like to take this opportunity to wish her a many happy returns of the day, in Eeyore fashion, and tell her that my 40′s were head and shoulders above my 30′s and probably my 20′s, if I remembered more of them. I love you, Jonesy.