So I didn’t so much fall OFF the scooter as I fell OVER the scooter, since I was, for some reason, trying to shut it off before I put the kickstand down, and it slipped away from me, pulling me with it. I am, as usual, bloody and bruised but unbowed, and wish to once again thank the couple who came to my aid in the Safeway parking lot.

_________________________________________________________

I am disturbed by the increasing depictions of cereal as sentient and cannibalistic.  It makes me distrust my breakfast. I don’t need that shit first thing in the morning. That’s far too early to be taking anti anxiety meds, in my opinion.

_________________________________________________________

I am about half way through cleaning out the bedroom closet, and the moths have taken umbrage at being disturbed, those fuckers, as if they paid rent or something.  Between the cats and the moths, I’m the only one who does anything productive around here. All the cats do is sleep and stare at the wall for hours, and the moths have ruined three pairs of gloves and a sweater. And I really liked that sweater.

_________________________________________________________

Also, the tampon you use determines whether or not you can get into the hip clubs. Or so that’s what the TV tells me.

_________________________________________________________

Dear Pier One Imports,

I do not wish to purchase furniture or decorative knickknacks that speak to me. When inanimate objects start speaking to you, it’s less important to think about how to integrate talking objects into the decor, and more important to check your anti psychotics.

Sincerely,

Tracy Kaply

________________________________________________________

Me: I used to love the sound of glass breaking.

Kevin: Used to?

Me: *SIGH* Apparently, it’s “wrong” to break glass unless it belongs to you, which kind of limits the fun.

_______________________________________________________

And SCENE.

TweetShare on Tumblr

So I haven’t fallen down in  days, and so have been doing non health related stuff the past few days.

I purged my house of the four ENORMOUS bags of random paper that makes up my life. I put stuff to the side to shred it, then I never get around to shredding it, and then I hate the way it piles up so I shove it in a drawer.

Shut up.

Now I have moved on to MOTHWAR 2012, in which I remove the doors off the closet, clean that fucker out, and lay down some serious fucking chemical warfare. Those winged bastards are so screwed, they have NO IDEA.

——————————————————————————————

Mother’s Day is this weekend and the commercials for Shari’s Berries are on every three minutes.

I would never get my mom those berries. They are the size of my fucking fist. Obviously, they are MUTANT berries and I am NOT giving Bev Kaply mutant food.  She has enough power over mere mortals.

_________________________________________________________

I would eat stuffing for every meal if given the opportunity.

——————————————————————————————–

I have never watched a single minute of American Idol or Jersey Shore. I am totally ok with this. I wish I could say the same about the entire Real Housewives line up.

I am watching NYC22 on Sunday nights, ABC. I love Adam Goldberg and the show is fantastic. Of course, now that I have proclaimed my love of the show to the world, it will probably get cancelled.

Bastards.

________________________________________________________

By the way, I can totally believe it’s not butter. I AM NOT FOOLED, FAKE BUTTER MANUFACTURER.

Yeah.

TweetShare on Tumblr

Hey, cats and kittens. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Didja miss me? Of course you did! And since you have proven yourselves my loyal readers, I shall take this opportunity to let you know what I’ve been doing the past two weeks.

You should probably be sitting down for this. Ready? Ok.

So, on Tuesday I went to the shrink and he adjusted my medication by increasing the anti psychotic by 50 mg.

Wednesday I picked up the prescription and started taking the new dose that night.

Thursday I started getting dizzy when I sat up after lying down, or when I stood up after sitting. I figured it was low blood pressure, called my dr and he took me off my blood pressure meds.

Saturday I was feeling exhausted, still getting dizzy and had tremor issues, mostly in my hands. This made it hard to text or type or perform anything that required fine motor skills. I was understandable put out by this.

Saturday night, in the middle of the night, I got out of bed to go to the bathroom. I got dizzy, briefly lost consciousness, fell onto the table, breaking the leaf and spilling the silverware everywhere, and hit the floor.

This was not good.

The rest of the week was full of dizziness and tiredness and feeling messed up in general. Also, everything hurt.

By Friday, I realized that it was the side effects from the increased dosage, including the low blood pressure and all the rest. I dropped 25 mg from my dose, and on Saturday felt more like a functioning human than I had in two weeks.

I still have the tremors, but I no longer have the vertigo, and I haven’t fallen down in a couple of days, which is reassuring.

Of course, my chronic sinus infection decided that it would be a good time to try and kill me. I think it was concerned that the side effects might kill me first. Anyway, I’m back on the prednisone, with all the weirdness that entails.

So yeah, I’m a little messed up, and I’m still kind of pissed about the table.

And now you know.

TweetShare on Tumblr

Last week? Not going down on the list of awesome weeks. But things are looking up, I have clean sheets, I finally took a shower, and I have caught up on my DVR list.

I don’t think any more could possibly be expected of me. And that’s why I am going to bed.

TweetShare on Tumblr

I had bloodwork done today to find out why my body wants me to spend all my time flopping around on the floor. I also went to see my ENT and my new shrink, who upped my anti psychotics, which, I think we can all agree, can only result in good things , up to and including a marked lack of violence and mayhem.

I also had  banh mi sandwich. All in all, a fairly successful day.

TweetShare on Tumblr