And Now For Something Completely Different: WHELKS!

Posted by Tracy on Mar 9, 2010 with 5 Comments
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I don’t often get serious, but today is World Kidney Day. It is the day that Dr Scribner used a machine he and an engineer from the University Of Washington, Wayne Quinton, developed to dialyze a patient, Clyde Shields. The treatment lasted 70 hours, and the end result of that is my regular treatments of 4 hours a day. And the fact that I’m still alive years after my diagnosis.

One in nine people have some form of kidney disease and are completely unaware of it. Today I am asking you guys to have your doctor test your kidney function. Caught early, it is often manageable and in some cases reversible.

Trust me, while I am grateful to have dialysis, it is not as much fun as I make it sound to have kidney failure.

Information Places:

Dialysis From The Sharp End Of The Needle

Northwest Kidney Centers

On The Bullet Train To Decrepitude

Posted by Tracy on Mar 7, 2010 with 5 Comments
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Ok, it’s been a hell of a week. I need to do laundry, and paperwork, and clean some stuff, and vacuum, and defur the couch (goddamned giant idiot cats), and did I mention the dire need to do laundry?

So you know what I did today? That’s right, I watched cartoons.

Yeah, I may be going commando tomorrow. Totally worth it, though.

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I missed a dialysis conference this weekend, which was suck, but trust me when I say MY HANDS ARE FUCKING KILLING ME, and it was all I could do to maintain my normal sunny demeanor in the privacy of my bat-cave. SHUT UP, I AM TOO sunny.

I will fucking punch you in the throat. Ok, probably not, the hands might not manage it. But I WILL stare at you in an evil manner and you will FEEL my WRATH.

*sigh*

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So it turns out that the three vials of blood that were taken to determine whether or not I have the rheumatoid arthritis were put in tubes with the wrong colored lids and so are unsuitable for testing the things that need to be tested. And so I must trundle down to the center and do it again.

Whatever. It’s not like my blood is a scarcity. Now if it were pee it would be an entirely different story.

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Why won’t the government pay me for eating cheese? Well, ok, they kind of do. But I wish they paid me WELL to eat cheese.

Also, I would like a shoebox full of twenties and perhaps some more of that cave aged Gouda. That shit rocked.

And Then I Won An Award

Posted by Tracy on Mar 5, 2010 with 3 Comments
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Thanks to Jenny the Bloggess.

You’re Attractive, In A Loathesome Sort Of Way

Posted by Tracy on Mar 4, 2010 with 3 Comments
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So it turns out that I can only get halfway into the MRI machine before the panic attack hits.

Yeah, I was surprised, too.

On the upside, my rheumatologist thinks I have rheumatoid arthritis.

Yeah, that’s a piss poor upside.

How about this: my hair looked fucking fabulous today.

And that’s me. Taking the awesome where I can get it.

I’m Not So Much Passive Aggressive As Aggressive Aggressive

Posted by Tracy on Mar 2, 2010 with 8 Comments
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So nothing continues to happen here at the Casa del Kaply PACNW. I cleaned a bunch of shit yesterday, which was pointless since the cats immediately went to work dirtying the place up again.

Honestly, I don’t know why I bother.

Well, I DO know why I bother, and it was waking up this morning to a clean house. It was kind of awesome, and now I know how Bev Kaply must feel ALL THE TIME.

I have an appointment with the rheumatologist on Thursday morning, an MRI on Thursday afternoon, and then bloodwork at good old Northwest Kidney Centers. In the meantime I am just trying to rest and do dialysis.

Oh yeah, and the neverending misery that is paperwork. Someone asked me what the hardest part of my life was, and without hesitation I said paperwork. If I die from anything, I’m pretty sure the COD on the certificate will read DEATH BY PAPERWORK. GAH.

And that, dear readers, is why I could use minions.

Apparently, spellcheck does not believe me when I state that Rheumatology is a recognized medical specialty. It keeps pointing me towards Dermatology which is not helpful at all. Nor is Hematology, thank you.

I mean, really, what the fuck, spellcheck?

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